Do you personally know of any gay couple who has lived together for more than 5 years? I bet that there are really VERY few of those long-standing gay live-in relationships. (Yes, 5 years in the gay world is FOREVER.) These days those cases are the exception. And when you find one, it’s such an inspiration. Wouldn’t it be interesting to evesdrop on one such couple? Jase and his partner “N” have been together the past 6 years. Then one night, as Jase is going through his nightly beauty regimen, busily moisturizing, “N” blurts out, “Do you still love me?” Read on to find out Jase’s lovely, lovely response.
…if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.
Monday, October 19, 2009
is gayness a matter of choice, an acquired preference
Moving on to a more serious but related topic… I was in conversation last Sunday afternoon among a handful of gay bloggers. We were discussing: is homosexuality in-born? Ipinapanganak ba ang bading bilang bading? Or is gayness a matter of choice, an acquired preference?
Instead of relating to you the convoluted discussion details, I summarize below my learnings, in hopes that you can comment and perhaps share your own thoughts about the topic:
1. Being gay is fundamental to the person. In-born? Most probably. An act of volition, a matter of choice? Most definitely not. Bottomline: sexual orientation is a fundamental part of one’s person, and thus unchangeable, immutable. Everything else from here on, in my opinion, is an act of volition.
2. Volition (an act of will) starts in self-acceptance. This is what I call Volition Level One. This is where most people get confused. When people say they are confused, most of the time the confusion is the result of the battle of self-acceptance. What should one do then? Since homosexuality is a fundamental part of the person, when one is “confused”, he or she should look more inward than outward. Concerns like “Will my parents accept me? What will my friends say? I will be rejected by society” are all important, but are irrelevant in finding one’s true sexual orientation.
3. After the self-acceptance part, one is then confronted with more choices. This is Volition Level Two: how will I express my homosexuality outwardly? Will I be straight-acting, butch, manly? Or effeminate, girly, swishy? Some people have natural behavioral tendencies and pre-dispositions, so it may appear that these are not choices but rather in-born too. However, since these are outward behaviors, one has a choice to modify them. One can attempt to be more butch than he naturally is. Some may find it easier than others, some may succeed, some may fail — but I maintain that this is more an act of volition than an immutable, fundamental characteristic of a person.
4. The Third Level of Volition is about articulating and sharing the knowledge of one’s sexual orientation to others. The question then is, will I come out or not? Totally an act of free will. And there is no right or wrong answer.
What do you think? Do you agree with the above statements regarding the immutability of sexual orientation? Share your thoughts, so we can learn from each other. (At, huy, baka itanong yan sa Ms. Gay! Kaya pag-isipan na! Hahahaha!)
Instead of relating to you the convoluted discussion details, I summarize below my learnings, in hopes that you can comment and perhaps share your own thoughts about the topic:
1. Being gay is fundamental to the person. In-born? Most probably. An act of volition, a matter of choice? Most definitely not. Bottomline: sexual orientation is a fundamental part of one’s person, and thus unchangeable, immutable. Everything else from here on, in my opinion, is an act of volition.
2. Volition (an act of will) starts in self-acceptance. This is what I call Volition Level One. This is where most people get confused. When people say they are confused, most of the time the confusion is the result of the battle of self-acceptance. What should one do then? Since homosexuality is a fundamental part of the person, when one is “confused”, he or she should look more inward than outward. Concerns like “Will my parents accept me? What will my friends say? I will be rejected by society” are all important, but are irrelevant in finding one’s true sexual orientation.
3. After the self-acceptance part, one is then confronted with more choices. This is Volition Level Two: how will I express my homosexuality outwardly? Will I be straight-acting, butch, manly? Or effeminate, girly, swishy? Some people have natural behavioral tendencies and pre-dispositions, so it may appear that these are not choices but rather in-born too. However, since these are outward behaviors, one has a choice to modify them. One can attempt to be more butch than he naturally is. Some may find it easier than others, some may succeed, some may fail — but I maintain that this is more an act of volition than an immutable, fundamental characteristic of a person.
4. The Third Level of Volition is about articulating and sharing the knowledge of one’s sexual orientation to others. The question then is, will I come out or not? Totally an act of free will. And there is no right or wrong answer.
What do you think? Do you agree with the above statements regarding the immutability of sexual orientation? Share your thoughts, so we can learn from each other. (At, huy, baka itanong yan sa Ms. Gay! Kaya pag-isipan na! Hahahaha!)
GOD LOVES GAY PEOPLE TOO......
There is an issue that needs to be cleared up about the relationship between strongly religious people and homosexuals.
Apparently, there are some who call themselves Christians and try to speak on behalf of the almighty God regarding love and hate. Those who say that God hates gay people, or anyone else for that matter, are not speaking on behalf of God or Christians - and they certainly do not speak on behalf of this Christian. The God who I know, love and worship loves every living thing that he has made - including homosexuals.
Some claim the Bible gives clear indication of the Lord's hatred toward certain groups of people. Those who make such a claim usually don't give the exact passages of where the objectionable statements are found in the 1,000-plus page book. There may be passages where people are warned not to do certain things, but there's nothing that says God hates anybody. Maybe if they actually read the Bible, these people would realize it speaks more of God's love than of his wrath.
I am beginning to comprehend the game that the Bible bashers are playing.
The Bible says feed the hungry. The Bible says clothe the naked. The Bible says love your neighbor. Persecute those who differ from you. Oh! The Bible didn't say...
A person's sexual orientation does not make him or her less moral. Straight people are just as likely to do hurtful things as gay people. Sexual orientation neither causes nor justifies inappropriate actions. People are not gay by choice, so homosexuality is not a sin. There is nothing wrong in being a certain way. Who someone is does not matter as much as what he or she does.
Gays can love and be loved. They can perform jobs and accept responsibilities as well as anyone else. Homosexuals are capable of breaking laws and harming themselves and others, but they also are capable of loving. I have friends who are gay. Their lifestyles differ from mine, but we treat each other with respect.
The important aspects of a friend are the qualities that make him or her an individual rather than a stereotypical member of a group. Our friendship endures not because of our sexual orientations but because we genuinely care about each other.
by Emily Toohill
Issue date: 10/13/04
First I would like to thank you for a very powerful yet much needed article. I am a gay woman who loves God with all her heart and soul, and I still struggle at times whether God loves me for who I am. I consider myself a very loving, giving, caring individual. I believe in a God that loves, caring and forgiving. I also agree that many people interpret the bible to fit their own personal beliefs. I wish more people could understand how damaging their words are to people who are just trying to live a life loving someone. I have been with my partner for over 6 years. She is also the most loving, caring, giving individual I have ever met and we have a great deal of respect for each other. . Why can't people just love to each other like the bible states?
Thank you again for a very powerful and needed story. Thank you for your love and support to a group of people who continue to feel rejected by Gods people.
Sincerely,
Deborah W.
Posted: 2/19/07 @ 8:38 PM
You got it right, God does love gay people, he just hates the sin they do! People are not "born gay". God did not create man to be with man, and since he decided to put it down in one of the laws he gave to mosses, it shows he clearly doesn't want it any other way. But God being All-mighty and All-powerful can help people, help people change. God doesn't change however, and his views on it haven't changed. But he still loves gay people. Its a sin like any other, I am no better than someone who is gay, but i want help with my sins, its good to recognize you need help with yours.
by Mark Isgrove
Posted: 3/26/07 @ 6:54 PM
Apparently, there are some who call themselves Christians and try to speak on behalf of the almighty God regarding love and hate. Those who say that God hates gay people, or anyone else for that matter, are not speaking on behalf of God or Christians - and they certainly do not speak on behalf of this Christian. The God who I know, love and worship loves every living thing that he has made - including homosexuals.
Some claim the Bible gives clear indication of the Lord's hatred toward certain groups of people. Those who make such a claim usually don't give the exact passages of where the objectionable statements are found in the 1,000-plus page book. There may be passages where people are warned not to do certain things, but there's nothing that says God hates anybody. Maybe if they actually read the Bible, these people would realize it speaks more of God's love than of his wrath.
I am beginning to comprehend the game that the Bible bashers are playing.
The Bible says feed the hungry. The Bible says clothe the naked. The Bible says love your neighbor. Persecute those who differ from you. Oh! The Bible didn't say...
A person's sexual orientation does not make him or her less moral. Straight people are just as likely to do hurtful things as gay people. Sexual orientation neither causes nor justifies inappropriate actions. People are not gay by choice, so homosexuality is not a sin. There is nothing wrong in being a certain way. Who someone is does not matter as much as what he or she does.
Gays can love and be loved. They can perform jobs and accept responsibilities as well as anyone else. Homosexuals are capable of breaking laws and harming themselves and others, but they also are capable of loving. I have friends who are gay. Their lifestyles differ from mine, but we treat each other with respect.
The important aspects of a friend are the qualities that make him or her an individual rather than a stereotypical member of a group. Our friendship endures not because of our sexual orientations but because we genuinely care about each other.
by Emily Toohill
Issue date: 10/13/04
First I would like to thank you for a very powerful yet much needed article. I am a gay woman who loves God with all her heart and soul, and I still struggle at times whether God loves me for who I am. I consider myself a very loving, giving, caring individual. I believe in a God that loves, caring and forgiving. I also agree that many people interpret the bible to fit their own personal beliefs. I wish more people could understand how damaging their words are to people who are just trying to live a life loving someone. I have been with my partner for over 6 years. She is also the most loving, caring, giving individual I have ever met and we have a great deal of respect for each other. . Why can't people just love to each other like the bible states?
Thank you again for a very powerful and needed story. Thank you for your love and support to a group of people who continue to feel rejected by Gods people.
Sincerely,
Deborah W.
Posted: 2/19/07 @ 8:38 PM
You got it right, God does love gay people, he just hates the sin they do! People are not "born gay". God did not create man to be with man, and since he decided to put it down in one of the laws he gave to mosses, it shows he clearly doesn't want it any other way. But God being All-mighty and All-powerful can help people, help people change. God doesn't change however, and his views on it haven't changed. But he still loves gay people. Its a sin like any other, I am no better than someone who is gay, but i want help with my sins, its good to recognize you need help with yours.
by Mark Isgrove
Posted: 3/26/07 @ 6:54 PM
Learn to heal the past wound and move on (letting you go is so hard)
Letting go of your past – whether it's quitting an addictive relationship or grieving a death – can be one of the hardest things you'll ever do. Even if it was a painful relationship and you had to let go of your past for your own sanity, you still may struggle with saying good-bye.
It's not easy, but there are practical ways to let go of your past and move on. Before you delve into letting go and saying good-bye to your past, however, you may need to face your memories and experiences. If you're dealing with your mistakes, you'll certainly have to accept responsibility for your actions.
Six Steps to Letting Go of Your Past:
Write, talk, draw, paint, or otherwise tap into your thoughts and memories. Letting go of your past means honoring your memories.
Let go of the emotions and feelings of painful memories by letting them wash over you – you'll feel horrible during, but relieved and peaceful afterwards. Let go of your past by reliving it.
Go back and talk to the people involved, if possible. Letting go of your past can mean going back.
Share your real feelings; confess if it's appropriate. Letting go of your past means expressing your emotions. If you have to deal with your mistakes, then own up to your shame or guilt.
Apologize and ask forgiveness if you need to. Letting go of your past means being vulnerable.
Get help with uncontrollable urges to overeat, get stoned or drunk, or otherwise hurt yourself. Letting go of your past means burying your pride.
It's not easy, but there are practical ways to let go of your past and move on. Before you delve into letting go and saying good-bye to your past, however, you may need to face your memories and experiences. If you're dealing with your mistakes, you'll certainly have to accept responsibility for your actions.
Six Steps to Letting Go of Your Past:
Write, talk, draw, paint, or otherwise tap into your thoughts and memories. Letting go of your past means honoring your memories.
Let go of the emotions and feelings of painful memories by letting them wash over you – you'll feel horrible during, but relieved and peaceful afterwards. Let go of your past by reliving it.
Go back and talk to the people involved, if possible. Letting go of your past can mean going back.
Share your real feelings; confess if it's appropriate. Letting go of your past means expressing your emotions. If you have to deal with your mistakes, then own up to your shame or guilt.
Apologize and ask forgiveness if you need to. Letting go of your past means being vulnerable.
Get help with uncontrollable urges to overeat, get stoned or drunk, or otherwise hurt yourself. Letting go of your past means burying your pride.
Reasons God loves Gay people_
1 we love him so much
2 we're teddy bears at heart
3 we've been there, done that pariah thing
4 with an eternity to fill, decorators and mechanics will be indispensable
5 God likes laughing
6 we are a comfort
7 we'll be good crowd control on that day
8 we both start with 'G'
9 the hard part is over early with us
10 we alone will get the His/her thing
* * *
1. The Bible says, "Whosoever..."
2. Jesus never said anything against homosexuality.
3. We are all equal at the foot of the cross.
4. Jesus came to save the world, not condemn it.
5. Salvation is for anyone who asks for it.
. God knew who we were before we were born. Or God knew you were gay before you were born, and it was ok then and it's ok now.
7. God has plans for us-prosperity, a hope and a future.
8. God is love.
9.God wants fellowship with us. (I know it sounds kinda churchy-so please feel free to tweak if you can come up with something better)
10. God’s church is not a place of spiritual alienation.
2 we're teddy bears at heart
3 we've been there, done that pariah thing
4 with an eternity to fill, decorators and mechanics will be indispensable
5 God likes laughing
6 we are a comfort
7 we'll be good crowd control on that day
8 we both start with 'G'
9 the hard part is over early with us
10 we alone will get the His/her thing
* * *
1. The Bible says, "Whosoever..."
2. Jesus never said anything against homosexuality.
3. We are all equal at the foot of the cross.
4. Jesus came to save the world, not condemn it.
5. Salvation is for anyone who asks for it.
. God knew who we were before we were born. Or God knew you were gay before you were born, and it was ok then and it's ok now.
7. God has plans for us-prosperity, a hope and a future.
8. God is love.
9.God wants fellowship with us. (I know it sounds kinda churchy-so please feel free to tweak if you can come up with something better)
10. God’s church is not a place of spiritual alienation.
break up lines
Every relationship goes through some bad times. Like the time you caught him flirting when he thought you weren't watching, or the time the ex called and left a sultry message on the machine, or the time when the two of you fought like angry reptiles when one of you decided it was okay to spend the bonus money on the latest turbo tool. Certainly, though, the most awkward and uncomfortable time in a relationship comes at the very end of it - the time when the two of you (or at least one of you) decides it's time to divide the iTunes account and move on.
No break-up is easy, and many guys resort to some old standards when it comes to conversational gambits in the final moments. This will help you decide what his cutting lines truly mean.
"It's not you; it's me."
"I'm not ready for a relationship right now."
No break-up is easy, and many guys resort to some old standards when it comes to conversational gambits in the final moments. This will help you decide what his cutting lines truly mean.
"It's not you; it's me."
"I'm not ready for a relationship right now."
Another M2m rELATIONSHIP
Wala lang nkakatuwalang isipin na nasabi nila sa buong mundo na MAHAL NA MAHAL nila ang isa't isa..
Bakt kasi my mga taong tutol sa mga kgaya namin, ndi ba pwedeng pantay pantay nalang ang trato sa amin?
ndi naman namin kailngn ng atensyon like dahhh kaya naman naming mabuhay noh! and isa pa hindi namin kasalanang maging ganito ang pag katao namin! kung tingin nyo kasalanan namin ang maging ganito ano magiging tawag nyo sa mga BAKLANG SIKAT NA TUMUTULONG SA MGA KABALAANG WALANG TRABAHO?kung ang gubyerno nga nating walang magawang paraan para makatulong sa mgab tao pasalamat na nga lang sila at may mga BAKLANG HANDANG tumulong sa mga TAONG naghihirap
sana dumating yung araw na tanggap na ang mga kagay namin sa lipunang ginagalawan natin yung tipong kahit mag lakad kame sa labas ng bahay namin ng mag ka holding hands tipong walang pakielmanan
how i wish i could have this feeling again one day!
Hindi naman kame sakit na nakakahawa para pan dirihan, hindi naman kame mga halimaw para katakutan.. FYI tao din kame kagaya nyo sana sa mga taong hindi kayang rumispeto sa mga kagaya maisip nyo balang araw na mas malaki ang kaya naming gawin marunng kameng rumispeto sa mga taong nasa paligid namin at ayan ang tatandaan nyo kahit anong pang kukutya ang gawin nyo andito parin kame at handang rumispeto sa mga taong hindi kayang rumispeto sa kagaya ko.
NAGING BAKLA MAN KAME SA PANINGIN NG MGA TAO KUNG KUNUKUTYA MAN KAME well OPINYON NYO YAN sana balang araw maisp ng ibang tao na kaya naming makipag sabayan sa mundong ginagalawan nila
hindi man ngayon siguro balang araw mapapatunayan din nmin na dapat din kameng irespeto sa mundong ginagalawan ni EVA at ADAN
(^_^)
Bakt kasi my mga taong tutol sa mga kgaya namin, ndi ba pwedeng pantay pantay nalang ang trato sa amin?
ndi naman namin kailngn ng atensyon like dahhh kaya naman naming mabuhay noh! and isa pa hindi namin kasalanang maging ganito ang pag katao namin! kung tingin nyo kasalanan namin ang maging ganito ano magiging tawag nyo sa mga BAKLANG SIKAT NA TUMUTULONG SA MGA KABALAANG WALANG TRABAHO?kung ang gubyerno nga nating walang magawang paraan para makatulong sa mgab tao pasalamat na nga lang sila at may mga BAKLANG HANDANG tumulong sa mga TAONG naghihirap
sana dumating yung araw na tanggap na ang mga kagay namin sa lipunang ginagalawan natin yung tipong kahit mag lakad kame sa labas ng bahay namin ng mag ka holding hands tipong walang pakielmanan
how i wish i could have this feeling again one day!
Hindi naman kame sakit na nakakahawa para pan dirihan, hindi naman kame mga halimaw para katakutan.. FYI tao din kame kagaya nyo sana sa mga taong hindi kayang rumispeto sa mga kagaya maisip nyo balang araw na mas malaki ang kaya naming gawin marunng kameng rumispeto sa mga taong nasa paligid namin at ayan ang tatandaan nyo kahit anong pang kukutya ang gawin nyo andito parin kame at handang rumispeto sa mga taong hindi kayang rumispeto sa kagaya ko.
NAGING BAKLA MAN KAME SA PANINGIN NG MGA TAO KUNG KUNUKUTYA MAN KAME well OPINYON NYO YAN sana balang araw maisp ng ibang tao na kaya naming makipag sabayan sa mundong ginagalawan nila
hindi man ngayon siguro balang araw mapapatunayan din nmin na dapat din kameng irespeto sa mundong ginagalawan ni EVA at ADAN
(^_^)
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